Lost Together Read online

  Chapter 29

  It was time to shear the alpacas, something that should have already taken place but had been neglected with everything else that happened recently. Having shorn sheep on the Carson’s ranch last year, Rory was familiar with the process, but a little worried having no experience doing so with alpacas. Hearing that Saffron hadn’t shorn one either didn’t help matters. Despite their training of the alpacas, they’d decided it prudent to have a more experienced shearer on hand, and so this morning they waited for the arrival of a man who’d answered Saffron’s ad.

  Figuring it was about eight now and well past the seven o’clock agreed upon arrival time, Rory’s reservations about the man deepened. Something hadn’t sat right with him when Saffron related her phone conversation with the man, Kevin. While he wished Saffron had entrusted the hiring of a shearer to him, as he would have seen about the availability of one of the Carsons’ hands, he could do little about it now.

  Dust clouds signalled the approach of a vehicle, and he watched it turn into the long drive that ran to the house. Before long, an aging pickup roared up to them quickly, causing both Saffron and him to wave at the choking dust cloud that resulted. When Kevin jumped from the cab, Rory was even less impressed. Holding rope in one hand, he extended the other to Saffron.

  “You must be Saffron, nice to meetcha.”

  “Good morning Kevin,” she replied with an edge of annoyance. “You’re late.”

  The grin Rory thought Kevin had forced in the first place fell. “Your place was hard to find.”

  “Then you should have left earlier to account for that. We only have the day and twenty-nine alpacas to shear.” Kevin’s brow scrunched and he appeared on the edge of a retort, but Saffron held a silencing hand up. “Let’s get to work. Kevin, this is my foreman, Rory.”

  Kevin took Rory’s extended hand and shook it limply, another gesture Rory hated. His eyes moved to the rope restraints in the man’s hand.

  “You can leave those in your truck, they won’t be needed.”

  With a cock of his head, Kevin’s lips turned up in a smirk. “Two men, thirty alpacas. I know you haven’t shorn any yet, but they’re not exactly compliant. I ain’t getting kicked by one, hence the ropes.”

  “None of us will be kicked. The alpacas are extremely tame, and we’ve been training them to stand for periods of time while being handled. They’ll be fine. And there’s three of us doing it.”

  Kevin smirked again at Rory’s inclusion of Saffron in the crew, looked her over as Rory’s blood simmered, and then tossed the ropes into the trunk’s bed. “Fine. Let’s get started.”

  While the barn was done, they were shearing the alpacas outside, in the pens, due to the hot weather, the alpacas’ familiarity with the pens, and the fact stalls needed to be built inside the barn still. Leading Kevin into a pen that contained the needed equipment, Saffron at his side, Rory heard the man scoff.

  “Where’s your shearing table?”

  Turning to him, frustrated with his behaviour already, Rory folded his arms tightly across his chest. “I just told you we trained them to stand tied for long periods while being handled. We’ve discussed this, and we don’t want to hold them down. Yes, I appreciate it’s faster, and will ensure our safety, but we also have to take into consideration the stress to the alpacas. This is the least stressful method, and, yet again, we’ve been training them for it.”

  “What about their safety?” Kevin challenged. “If they jump while you’re shearing them and they’re not restrained, you could cut them.”

  “Yes, but again, with our training of them, we’re confident they’ll tolerate being sheared like this quite well.”

  With a shrug, Kevin issued a slimy grin that Rory wanted to slap off his face. “Whatever, it’s your ranch.”

  The man possessed no true care about the welfare of the animals and Rory knew it. While it was true that an alpaca could be injured if they moved while being sheared in the way he and Saffron intended, he didn’t believe concern for the animals prompted Kevin’s comment. Shearing the alpacas while they stood was harder on the shearer, not the animals.

  Feeling Kevin’s judging eyes upon him, Rory entered the girls’ pen and clicked his tongue. Instantly, the girls swarmed him, rubbing against him, and head-butting him gently. Handing out a few treats from his pocket, he then snapped a lead onto Neenee’s halter, and led her through the gate, shooing the other girls away so he could close it. As he attached the lead to a high ring on the fencing in the shearing pen, she snorted at Kevin. Smiling inwardly, sharing her sentiment, he ran his hand down her long neck.

  “Good girl, we’re going to make this as quick as possible, then you’ll get another treat.”

  Ignoring Kevin’s smirking lips, Rory focused on his eyes. “You wanna shear, or hold her hindquarters?”

  “You’re not tying her back end too?” Kevin questioned incredulously.

  “Nope. So, shearing or holding?”

  “Shearing. She’s gonna kick you.”

  Knowing she wouldn’t, having purposely chosen one of the calmest girls to begin with, Rory, speaking softly to Neenee, moved to stand at her hip and held her securely. Kevin picked up the shears laid out for him, oiled them well and, as Saffron stroked Neenee’s head and spoke calmly to her, began to shear the alpaca’s long neck.

  As he removed the fibre from Neenee’s neck, Saffron placed it on a tarp. Then the process repeated as he expertly sheared the alpaca’s barrel, producing a lovely blanket that Rory could see impressed Saffron. Kevin tossed guard hairs and useless fibre aside as he worked, and Rory had to admit the man knew how to shear alpacas. He stopped frequently to oil the blades, checked to ensure the clippers weren’t getting hot against Neenee’s skin, and worked efficiently. Switching to small clippers to shear her legs, he soon finished, leaving Neenee perfectly shorn, now sporting only a fluffy head, and a pompom tail.

  Saffron snickered at her appearance, and Rory had to smile. The poor thing looked ridiculous, skinny without all that fleece, her neck now appearing way longer than it normally did. While Saffron commended Kevin on how quickly, and expertly he’d shorn Neenee, Rory pulled the slipknot, and led Neenee to a paddock. Then he returned to the pen where he coaxed another girl to him for her shearing.

  Breaking for lunch, with most of the females finished, Rory could tell how pleased Saffron was with Kevin. He didn’t like Kevin as a person, but he was a great shearer, and had been gentle with the girls. Although the conversation at lunch was pleasant, Rory couldn’t miss the lascivious looks Kevin unleashed upon Saffron, nor the odd looks on his face as he looked between her and Rory, as if ascertaining a potential relationship between the two.

  When they started on the remainder of the alpacas, Rory decided to switch gears and select the feistiest male to deal with first, figuring no one would feel up to handling Baron later in the day, when they were tired. As he figured, Baron first avoided coming near him, the alpaca’s nostrils flaring at the beet slice Rory held but remaining wary, as if he knew something was up. Rory ending up chasing him down and cornering him, with Saffron’s help, and then narrowly avoided a nasty nip when Baron darted his head forward as Rory clipped the lead to his harness.

  Baron reared again as Rory led him to the shearing station, and Kevin backed up. As Rory secured Baron’s lead, he heard Kevin grumbling under his breath.

  “Sorry?” he said as he turned to face Kevin. “I didn’t hear that.”

  “I said I hope you’re tying this one up. Obviously he didn’t take to your training.”

  As Saffron moved to get a length of rope they’d placed nearby in case they needed it, Rory shook his head at her. “Don’t. We don’t need it.”

  “The hell you don’t,” Kevin retorted. “Tie this bastard up, or I ain’t touching him.”

  “Then don’t,” Rory snapped, and then turned his attention back to Saffron. “Pay him for half a day.”

  “Now wait just a damn minute,” Kevin said harshly,
“I was promised a full day’s pay.”

  “Then work for it,” he snarled.

  Saffron shot him a cautioning glare, but he’d had enough of Kevin. He knew he shouldn’t have issued a command to her, and figured he’d hear about it later. Sucking a deep breath in through his nostrils, he tried to calm himself, repeating the mantra he isn’t worth it repeatedly in his mind. Visibly agitated, Kevin moved forward to shear Baron as Rory pushed against the alpaca’s hindquarters, pinning him to the fence, knowing he wouldn’t be cooperative. Despite hating Kevin, he didn’t want the man injured. Just as Kevin started to move the clippers down the back of his neck, Baron kicked back with a front leg, striking Rory resounding in the calf.

  “Fuck!” he yowled as he jumped back.

  Kevin dropped the clippers, and backed away from Baron. The alpaca snorted loudly, and then spat at Saffron who leapt back, and, as she was holding the lead, inadvertently pulled on it, undoing the slipknot. As Baron charged, Rory snatched the lead, halting the animal’s attempt to flee. Tying the lead again, trying to ignore the pain in his leg, he heard the loud scoff Kevin released. Turning to see the man’s sour face, he knew he wouldn’t like what Kevin said next.

  “Tie that bastard’s back end up now!”

  Scowling, he responded, “I will, but drop your attitude. He needs to settle down, and won’t with you carrying on like that.”

  “You don’t like my attitude? Too fucking bad. I’ve had enough of doing this ass-backwards. This is ridiculous. In fact, fuck this shit. We either hold the rest down while she shears them, or I’m done.”

  “Then you’re done,” Rory replied, narrowing his eyes.

  “Fine. Give me my money, all of it, and I’m out of here.”

  “No. Half a day’s work gets half a day’s wages.”

  “Rory, let’s just resolve this, and let Kevin get on his way,” Saffron’s cautioning voice sounded. He knew she could easily see the escalating ire between him and Kevin and worried it would get out of hand, but he wasn’t about to let Kevin get away with the shit he was trying to pull.

  “No,” he barked, “there’s no way I’m letting you pay him for work he didn’t do.”

  “Who’s running this place, sweet cheeks?” Kevin asked snidely as he squinted angrily at Saffron. “You or him?”

  “You speak to her like that once more, and I’ll split your fucking lip.” Rory balled his hands into tight fists. Fury pummelled him, and he shook with the effort of holding himself back. One wrong word from Kevin would spur him into action, and he desperately wanted the man to keep his fucking mouth shut.

  Kevin sneered. “Maybe if you stopped sniffing around her like a dog, you’d be able to run this place properly. Crawl out from under her skirt, and open your eyes. She’s calling the shots, and doesn’t have a fucking clue what she’s doing!”

  Barreling toward Kevin, intent on knocking him the fuck out, Rory came to an abrupt halt when Saffron leapt before him. Instantly his rage dissipated, afraid he’d inadvertently hurt her if he tried to get past her. She placed shaky hands on his shoulders. The look on her face seemed to him a mixture of concern for him, and anger over Kevin.

  “Take a break, take a walk, maybe go have a shower. Take a breather, I got this.”

  He stepped back, sucking in a calming breath. He had to relax. Attacking Kevin would only lead to Myles’s involvement, and the corporal was just waiting for Rory to screw up like this. Slowly, he released his breath, and then drew in another deep one as Saffron turned to Kevin.

  “You need to leave. Now. I’ll pay you, but I don’t want you near my animals, or on my property a moment longer.” She pulled bills from her pocket, and handed them to Kevin. “It’s what we agreed on, and while I’m with Rory in that I don’t think you deserve it, I just want you gone.”

  Kevin appeared to be about to respond, and Rory tensed again. Then the man merely turned and walked out of the pen, shoving the money into his pocket as he did. Neither Saffron nor Rory said a word, both standing still, and Rory heard the truck start up, and drive off.

  Saffron turned back to him with a deep scowl on her face. “What was that all about? Yeah, he’s an asshole, but you took charge. Whose ranch is this?”

  Remorse replaced his anger. In dealing with Kevin, he’d unintentionally upset Saffron. As always, his attempt at fixing things did nothing but hurt those closest to him. He blew out a resigned breath. “I’m sorry. I overstepped my boundaries.”

  “You’re goddamn right you did!”

  “I’m sorry,” he repeated softly, and her expression changed dramatically. Swearing he could see pity in her eyes again, he hated it.

  “What happened there?” she asked. Her tone was gentle, almost motherly, and it sparked anger in him.

  “Don’t,” he warned, “just don’t.”

  Her eyes widened as her mouth fell open, and he emitted a frustrated growl at the sight. He was doing it again, hurting someone who only wanted to help him.

  “I’m sorry, Saffron,” he said in a harsher tone than he’d intended but fury had gripped him again. He was so sick of this, all of this. Turning away from her, he kicked the gate resoundingly, causing Baron to snort loudly, and pull at his lead. Hanging his head, Rory breathed in sharply, willing himself to calm.

  “Rory—”

  “I’m sorry,” he blurted out again, “I’m sorry.” His tone sounded only slightly less harsh than before, and he kicked the gate again. He was such a fuck-up. All he did was fuck things up.

  “Just try to calm down, and talk to me about this,” she urged.

  Her voice was tense, but he could hear the concern in it. Like Zandra, she pushed aside the hurt he’d inflicted on her in order to help him, and it had to stop. Shaking his head wildly, unable to look at her, he turned his back to her.

  “I’ll go. Let’s get the alpacas done. I can’t leave you with all that work. Then I’ll leave. Tonight.”

  “I don’t want you to go. Please, let’s just talk about what happened. Yes, Kevin was a prick, but you’re so angry. It’s more than him. Talk to me. Maybe I can help.”

  “You can’t,” he said quietly, in resignation of the truth. “You can’t because you’re part of the problem.”

  He heard the startled breath she sucked in, and his heart dropped farther. Asshole! Stop hurting her! But he had to, he had to make her see. Spinning to her reddened face and wet eyes, he spread his arms.

  “Don’t you see? You, Zandra, Boone—you think you’re helping me but all you do is cover for me, lie for me, and protect me from the truth. I’m a loser. I’m toxic. I do nothing but screw up, and drag you all down with me! I can’t do that to you. I can’t. Zandra won’t let me leave, but I can’t let you get to that point, where you think you need me, because you don’t. She doesn’t, nobody does.”

  “You’re angry because I tried to help you?”

  “Yes! I know what you did, you took control of the situation before Kevin and I fought because you knew Myles would get involved, and I’d go back to jail, right?”

  “Yes,” she agreed, drawing the word out, obviously unaware of where he was heading with his rant.

  “Right.” He snorted. “Don’t you see? You wouldn’t have done that, paid that asshole, if you weren’t worried about me going back to prison. Everything hinges on that. You all treat me with kid gloves.” He released a mirthless chuckle. “I almost prefer the hatred, the people who are waiting for me to fuck up and end up back in jail. Like Myles. His behaviour is actually easier to take. I get mad, but let’s face it, he’s one of the few people who sees what I really am. A lost cause.”

  “You’re not.”

  “Yeah, I am. You gave me a chance. You did what nobody else did, what I wanted so desperately, what I thought I needed, and all I did was fuck it up. Because that’s who I am. A fuck-up, a loser, and you’re better off without me.”

  When her expression changed again, it shocked him. Now she looked angry, and she stomped toward him. Stopping a fo
ot away, her eyes narrowed as she glared at him. “Stop with the self-pity. Yes, you’ve had a shitty life for years now. You went to jail for avenging your sister. Some people might condemn you for that, but most probably think that fucker got what was coming to him. Prison was hard on you, I get it, of course it was. Then you were released and came to a place you thought would be a safe haven. It didn’t turn out to be that. You’re angry, you’re hurt, and your life isn’t what you wanted it to be, yeah, I know.”

  She huffed out an angry breath. “So what? Nobody’s life is what they envisioned it to be. None of us have escaped hardships, and all of us have suffered. No, I haven’t been to jail, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been imprisoned in other ways. Enough is enough. This town has beat you down. So fight back. Make something of yourself, and prove Myles wrong. Prove anyone else who doesn’t believe in you wrong. Show them how strong you are, and how wrong they are.”

  Speechless, he stared at her, and she seemed to grow angrier when he didn’t respond. “Your problem is you never left jail mentally. You physically left it behind, but that’s it. Mentally you’re still there, still serving time for what you did.” Her hand rested on his shoulder. He wanted to pull back, feeling unworthy of her touch, but the stern look in her eyes rooted him in place. “You think you deserve punishment for killing him because you do. You took a life. Bastard that he was, as wrong as he was, you killed him.”

  Her words were like daggers, each one hitting their mark. Blinking against rising tears, he wanted to run away from her, from her words, from that look in her eyes, but he couldn’t move. Like the coward he was, he held his place.