Lost Together Read online

  “I guess it’s time to pitch those.”

  She shrugged, stiffly he thought. “It’s messy work here. There’s no point in dressing nicely, I certainly don’t.” Sympathetic eyes met his. “I could try to patch them, if you like.”

  “Absolutely not. They need to be thrown out. I was planning on buying a few new pairs with my first paycheque.”

  “I bet it’ll feel good to get that cheque.”

  “It will. It’ll be the first one in a long time.” Too long, but he tried not to think about that. Thanks to Saffron, he had a job, and he was grateful for the chance to have regular paycheques, step one to rebuilding his life. At least he could start making proper restitution payments to the Parsons family. The court-ordered amount was substantial, high enough to worry he’d never be able to pay it off. Still, a steady paycheque allowed him to chip away at it and, considering he had no real expenses while housed on the ranch, he could funnel the majority of his wages into the payments.

  For long moments neither spoke as Rory plucked items from the line, and handed them to Saffron, who folded them, and placed them in baskets on the ground. He stole glances at her. She may have announced she didn’t dress well to work the ranch, but he liked how she looked. A lot, as a matter of fact. Tight jeans accented the curves of her hips, and hugged her plump ass. A floral-print short-sleeved blouse skimmed over the swell of small breasts. She was pear-shaped, his preference. Shapely, full hips to hang onto while plowing her, an ass that would jiggle enticingly when he took her from behind. Jesus! Stop fantasizing over your boss! It wasn’t appropriate, and he tried to stop the flow of images in his mind. Spooning Saffron, both of them naked, her breathing ragged, her skin still flushed after an amazing orgasm he’d provided. He could practically feel the softness of her skin, smell the scent of her hair as he nuzzled his face into it. Her shampoo smelled like apples, he was close enough to detect it. She was close enough for him to feel the warmth of her body.

  At the stirrings of an erection, he stepped to the side, drawing away from her. He hadn’t had sex in a long time, that was all, and it was nothing a cold shower wouldn’t fix. Daydreaming about sleeping with Saffron was beyond stupid. It was also a waste of time, and energy. Sure, she seemed more comfortable with him now, but her initial fear gnawed him nonetheless. She’d been afraid of him, and probably still was, at least on some level. Plus, she was his boss. Not to mention she couldn’t possibly have an interest in him, despite the numerous times he’d caught her checking him out. Maybe she found him attractive, but he wasn’t the type of man women like her dated. He was the type of man women like her slept with to ‘slum it’, to piss off conservative family members, maybe to prove their open-mindedness. He didn’t want to be a conquest, or a bragging right. What he wanted was something he’d never have: a wife, a family, a quiet life in a little place of their own on the prairies.

  “Okay, all done,” she announced. “Thanks for your help.”

  He tried to smile but, as always, thoughts of everything he’d never have weighed on him like an elephant with an anvil tied around its neck. “You’re welcome.” Shit, he sounded as miserable as he felt.

  Her brow wrinkled. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” Eyeing the two baskets that didn’t contain his clothes, he stooped to place one over the other, and then picked them up. “I’ll take these in for you, and then grab mine. Thanks again for doing this for me.”

  Without looking at her, he walked to her backdoor. His legs felt wooden, and he cursed his thoughts. Why did he always have to dwell on things he couldn’t have, a life he’d never live? Years ago he’d committed an act that assured his present life. He’d done this to himself. He could blame his lawyer, the jurors, Parsons’ sister, or the judge all he wanted, but the truth was it was all his fault. Killer. Another fact he could argue, or try to excuse away. Lack of intent or not, he had killed Parsons. He’d taken a life, which was exactly why he didn’t deserve the one he wanted.

  Chapter 23

  Awakening to the sounds of the alpacas screeching, Saffron bolted up in bed. The smell of burning wood wafted in from the open window, and she scrambled out of bed, pulled on her robe, and rushed from the bedroom. Stopping just long enough to slip her boots on, she hurried from the house. Her heart dropped when she spotted the burning barn, and she sprinted toward it.

  Rory was there, trying to douse the flames with a hose. She ran to where he stood, stopping a few feet back from him, alarmed at how close he was to the inferno. Heat from it blasted her, even with the distance she kept. Flames engulfed the entire barn, and, despite her horror at losing the building, she was more concerned for Rory.

  “Get further back,” she yelled to him, “you’re too close.”

  Holding his position, he called back over his shoulder. “I called the guys. I had to take the time to couple two hoses together and, damn it, I think we’re too late.”

  It was absolutely too late to save the barn. Even with her limited knowledge of fires, she knew the barn was lost. As she heard an approaching siren though, she worried for the alpacas, and the rest of the property. It had barely rained this spring, and all the grasses were dry. Envisioning the entire place going up in flames, tears filled her eyes.

  “Rory, please. The firetruck is here. Please, get back, you’re too close.”

  The firetruck screeched up to where she stood, and she took in its appearance in shock. It looked old, really old. When several men jumped from it, and she recognized Cole in the mix, she looked to him oddly.

  “Um, you’re a firefighter, too?”

  “Volunteer,” he answered. “We all are. The town’s too small for an actual fire station.”

  As she recognized more familiar faces with him, she realized that made sense. Bison Bluffs was incredibly small. She stood back as the men rushed forward, grateful when they instructed Rory to join her. Less than a minute later, Cole was back, a tight look on his face.

  “The barn’s a lost cause. I’m so sorry. We’re going to ensure the fire doesn’t spread, but there’s no hope for the barn.”

  Cole returned to the others, and she could do nothing more than stare at the burning burn as tears ran down her cheeks. The barn had been a piece of shit that needed so many repairs, but now it was lost. She couldn’t afford to replace it. What would she do when the alpacas needed shelter in the winter? At the feel of a hand on her back, she turned to Rory’s stricken face.

  “I’m so sorry. Maybe if I’d woken up earlier—”

  “No, don’t do that, please. You did everything you could. More than you should have, actually. I was so afraid you’d be hurt.”

  “I’m fine but, shit, this sucks.” He sighed. “Don’t cry. Everything will work out eventually.”

  She doubted it, but nodded anyway, not wanting him to feel worse than he obviously already did. The barn wasn’t covered under her insurance policy due to its dilapidated condition when she got coverage. She’d been assured it could be added to the policy when fixed and brought up to code. Her mind raced, trying to devise a way to raise money. The sale of the fibre from the upcoming shearing wouldn’t be near the cost of a barn, but it was a start. Maybe she could get a bank loan. It was a longshot, but maybe she would be approved, if she used the ranch as collateral. The feel of Rory’s arm encircling her shoulders cut through her thoughts. She couldn’t help but press against his side. It was more than the comfort he offered, it felt so damn good. Beneath the scent of burning wood that clung to him, she could still smell the manly scent of his skin, slightly pungent with sweat. The muskiness of it had her in a tither, even under the circumstances.

  “Come on, you should get back to sleep. I’ll stay out here and help, but you should get some rest.”

  “I won’t be able to sleep now.” She glanced at the barn and then to Rory. His neck was bent, his head close to hers, and she longed to kiss him. A proper kiss, not the peck on the cheek she’d given him the other day, but knew he didn’t want that. Sure, h
is arm was around her, but he was only comforting her. He certainly had never given her any indication he was interested in her and, really, why would he be? She was his boss, nothing more. As she stepped back from him, breaking their contact, she wiped drying tears from her cheeks.

  “I’m going to fill up pitchers of water for the men. I imagine they’ll be thirsty soon, and I don’t want them to get dehydrated. I appreciate you helping them, but I think you should get some rest. Tomorrow will be busy. I imagine what’s left of the barn will need to be demolished and taken away. That’ll probably cost quite a bit, won’t it?”

  “No, I’m sure the Carsons, and Ethan, will pitch in. We can get that done, but I doubt it’ll happen tomorrow. Myles will probably still be investigating, and I bet he’ll call in an arson investigator. Your insurance company will send someone, too.”

  She sighed loudly. “No, they won’t. I don’t have coverage on the barn. It was in too poor a condition to be covered. They wouldn’t cover it until it was repaired, and met proper building and safety codes.”

  “Shit. I’m sorry, that really bites.” He frowned, and then shrugged. “Don’t worry, we’ll think of something.”

  “What did you mean before, about an arson investigator? Is that just procedure?”

  “No.” He looked back at the barn, and then met her eyes again. “Saffron, someone burned it down, I’m sure of it. There wasn’t anything in it that would make it go up as quickly as it did. If it was just the building, it wouldn’t have burned as fast. Besides, when I was closer, I could smell gasoline.”

  Her jaw dropped. “Someone set that fire?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you sure? How can you know that? Maybe the gas smell was from an old container in there or something.”

  “No, it wasn’t. The smell was way too strong.”

  Her eyes darted to the men still hosing down the building and the area around it. “Oh my God. What if that man sets the house on fire next?”

  “He won’t.”

  “You can’t know that.”

  She heard the shakiness in her voice, and so did Rory. He grasped her shoulders, and fixed her with the most serious look she’d ever seen from him. “I won’t let that happen. Besides, he hasn’t tried anything at the house since the security lights went up. He doesn’t want to get caught.” He squeezed her shoulders gently. “Please don’t worry about that. I won’t let him hurt you.” His hand trailed down her arm to her hand which he clasped firmly. “Come on, let’s get the water for the guys.”

  As they made their way to the house, she tried not to make too much of him holding her hand. He was just being protective, and comforting. Yet she caught the looks he snatched periodically, furtively, as if he didn’t want her to notice. He’s just keeping an eye on you. You were kinda freaking out there. He’s worried you’ll have a meltdown, that’s all. Stop reading into it. He doesn’t want you. Of course not. Why would he? She was a mess. Emotionally fucked-up, financially screwed, over her head with this ranch, and well on her way to total ruin. Not exactly a catch.

  She pulled her hand away from him, and watched his reaction in her peripheral vision. His shoulders slumped, and his eyes dropped to the ground before him. Had she wounded him? Don’t be ridiculous. Stop thinking he’s interested in you, he isn’t. Haven’t you learned anything about men by now? Men who look like him don’t find you appealing. Right. Tears threatened to rise again, but she fought them. Feeling sorry for herself wouldn’t fix any of her problems. Rory wasn’t interested in her, but he did care about the ranch. That was undeniable, and she could put stock in his vow to protect the place. She truly couldn’t ask for more, and was damn lucky to have that much.

  Chapter 24

  Having just met with Myles, Saffron was in a worse state than she’d been last night. Myles was convinced the barn had been purposely set afire, and had placed a call for an arson investigator to inspect the rubble. He assured her she wasn’t in imminent danger from the culprit, but had cautioned her to get a security system again. As he drove away, she felt Rory’s presence, and turned to see him drawing closer to her.

  “Feeling any better?” he enquired.

  “No. Myles said you’re right, it’s arson. He’s arranging to have an investigator come by, probably tomorrow. If the investigator says it’s okay, then I can have the mess removed. I still don’t know how I’m going to pay for a new barn. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have more staff right now, huh?” She offered him a weak smile, and then shook her head. “Not that I can’t pay you, I didn’t mean that. Don’t worry, you’ll still get paid.”

  He waved a hand. “I’m not worried about that. If you need to do it, I can take a pay cut. You are paying me to be a foreman, and it’s only me here still.”

  “No, no way. No pay cuts. You more than earn what I pay you, and you’re going to continue to get it.”

  “Fine, but promise me you’ll consider it if you need to.”

  “Okay, but I won’t need to.”

  “Listen, I’m running into town for a bit. The animals have been taken care of, and they’re all out in the pastures. I’ll be back soon, I just wanted to go check out prices of supplies. I know you’re not ready to rebuild yet, but I thought it might be a good idea to know what you’re in for so you can budget.”

  “Yeah, actually that’s a good idea. Thanks, Rory.”

  “No problem. See you soon.”

  As he walked to his truck, she entered the house. Deciding she’d had enough coffee already this morning, even as it was just past eight, she plugged in the kettle to make herself an herbal tea. She then picked up her phone, and called Tansy.

  “Hey Saff, what’s up?”

  The tears came again. After several minutes of the story coming out in sobs, she filled Tansy in on the fire, the loss of the barn, and how it wasn’t covered by insurance. What she wouldn’t disclose though, was her certainty she wouldn’t be able to pay for a new barn, and would have to abandon the idea of the ranch altogether. She’d foolishly overextended her finances, and hadn’t allowed for covering a disaster. She’d failed, and would have to abandon her dream. Finishing up with her fear of not having enough money to replace the barn by winter, she sniffled as she waited for her sister’s response.

  “How much do you need?” Tansy asked. “I mean, I can’t send it all, but I can contribute. I’ll talk to Tymyn. We’ll be able to send you something for sure.”

  “No, hon, really. I appreciate that, but I can’t let you do that. You two have a business to run. What if something happens, and you need that money? Again, thank you so much, but I can’t take money from you.”

  “But how are you going to replace the barn then?”

  I can’t. I can’t do this. I was so, so stupid to think I could have this ranch. “I’ll come up with something. Maybe we could just insulate the alpaca pens for the winter and then build the barn next spring.” It was a crap idea, and wouldn’t work, but Tansy didn’t know that. She should confide in her sister, tell her how bad the situation really was, but couldn’t. Tansy had enough to deal with.

  “Oh, okay, that’ll work then. I guess that’s not ideal for them but if it’ll work as a temporary measure, that’s great.”

  “Did you, uh, come to a decision about having a baby?” Saffron wasn’t keen to have this conversation either, but if they stayed on the topic of the ranch, she was sure to break down and tell Tansy that her dream was destroyed. Tansy had been her biggest supporter, and she couldn’t tell her she’d failed. Miserably. In hope her sister had stuck to her guns about not having Tymym’s baby, she waited to hear the answer.

  “Yeah, I told him I didn’t want to have a child. He wants to revisit the idea in a year or so.” She sighed heavily. “Honestly, I don’t. I mean, as I thought about it, I realized that maybe, some time in the future, I might actually want a child, but I couldn’t picture having one with Tymyn.” Another sigh, this one even heavier. “I guess that should tell me something about my relat
ionship, shouldn’t it?”

  Yes, it’s toxic, and you need to get away from that man. “Well, it does sound like you two have some issues to work through.” Why did she always try to be so diplomatic? Tansy would be better off without Tymym, and Saffron should tell her so. As always though, she didn’t want to argue with her sister.

  “That’s for sure. Actually, I don’t want to talk about it, if that’s okay with you,” Tansy returned.

  It was more than okay. “Sure. What do you want to discuss?”

  “Hm. Well, have you come up with a name for the ranch yet?”

  “No, I haven’t. I hate the ones I’ve come up with so far.”

  “That bad?” Tansy questioned.

  “Oh yeah, that bad.”

  “Tell me.”

  “No way.”

  “C’mon, Saff,” Tansy persisted, “I could use a laugh, and so could you. Let’s hear them.”

  “Windy Plains Therapy Ranch.”

  Tansy chuckled. “Yup, awful. What else?”

  “Setting Sun Pastures.”

  Tansy howled in laughter at that one. “Sounds like a retirement home.”

  “The sunsets here are beautiful,” Saffron said, feeling a need to defend the name, even as she hated it.

  “I imagine they are, but that’s still a horrible name.”

  “Riverview Ranch.”

  “Not completely awful, but really doesn’t have much of an impact, does it?”

  “No, it doesn’t. Ethan’s ranch is called River Rock Homestead, so I should probably stay away from the ‘river’ thing seeing as his place is right beside mine. That might be confusing.”

  “Yeah, I can see that,” Tansy agreed. “River Rock Homestead is a good name. You said he has a beef ranch, right?”